


All I Want For Christmas

by cheapdate



Category: Produce X 101 - Fandom, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Christmas fic, I still love you, M/M, Post-Break Up, awkward encounters with ex-boyfriend, lots of bff hangyul because i LOVE HIM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21937930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheapdate/pseuds/cheapdate
Summary: Seungwoo accompanies Hangyul home for the holidays and shares a table with an unexpected dinner guest.
Relationships: Han Seungwoo/Kim Yohan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a prompt given to me by Yan!
> 
> It was meant to be a one-shot, but I am short fic phobic and so unfortunately, it's not yet completed. I have a problem. I know.
> 
> However, it's CHRISTMAS FIC and I'd be sad not to at least post half of it before the holidays so I hope you'll enjoy the first two parts!
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of my readers who celebrate!

Seungwoo stood in front of the wall of wines, shifting back and forth on his feet as he mindlessly scanned the labels. Merlot, Malbec, Shiraz, Pinot Noir. None of those words meant anything to him. Of course, he recognized and understood them as types of red wines, but beyond that he possessed no knowledge of how to differentiate between them, nor how to make a suitable choice. Even the prices were completely varied, despite the fact that the bottles all looked incredibly similar. But, he refused to show up at Hangyul’s family’s house empty-handed and, on such short notice, wine seemed like the best option. He also planned on picking up something pretty and sweet from the bakery Hangyul was stopping in on the way. 

He wasn’t exactly sure how he’d gotten roped into joining Hangyul on his trip home for the holidays, but that was par for the course. Seungwoo often found himself wrapped up in Hangyul’s plans and schemes, whether he protested or not, and so he’d learned to just let it happen. It wasn’t like he had plans anyway. His parents were on a much deserved trip to someplace warm and his sisters had their own plans with their own boyfriends. Of course, they’d all offered to rearrange their plans to celebrate his birthday and Christmas with him, but he assured them all he had fun things of his own to attend to. At the time, that hadn’t been exactly true, but he’d felt like a burden. Last year, he’d spent this time with his own significant other and he knew how much he’d cherished it. Even now, looking back on the memories made his heart skip a beat. He didn’t want to deny his family members the opportunity to be with their loved ones during such a magical time of year.

However, when Hangyul had found out he was likely just staying around the apartment for the holidays, he’d called his mother on the spot and relayed Seungwoo’s predicament. As expected of Mrs. Lee, she insisted he join them. Seungwoo knew from experience that neither she nor Hangyul would take no for an answer, and so he gratefully accepted the invitation. He had to admit, the prospect of spending both his birthday and Christmas alone had been depressing and he was extremely thankful for his best friend and his warm, welcoming family. He also hoped the trip would also act as a distraction from the heartbreak he was still nursing.

But, if he didn’t get a move on, they’d be late for Christmas Eve dinner, and that seemed like a very poor way to show his gratitude. Impatiently, he grabbed a bottle with pretty, sparkly gold label and headed for the cash register queue.

It wasn’t a long drive. Hangyul spent the majority of it aggressively singing and dancing behind the wheel while Seungwoo clutched desperately at the dashboard, silently praying he survived his 26th birthday. When they pulled into the parking lot of the bakery, he instantly launched himself out of the car and began mentally calculating how long it would take him to walk the six remaining miles between here and Hangyul’s home.

“Told ya.” Hangyul laughed as he climbed out of the driver’s side. “We made it with plenty of time.”

“I’m driving us back,” Seungwoo said, stretching out his long, cramped legs. “I’d like to live to see 2020.”

“Always so dramatic,” Hangyul teased.

He met Seungwoo at the door to the bakery, throwing his arm affectionately around his shoulders as they headed inside. As soon as they entered, they were met by a cheerful greeting from the small, bespeckled, grey-haired woman behind the pastry counter.

“Welcome! Oh!” Her already warm demeanor brightened impossibly as she excitedly clapped her hands together beneath her chin and shuffled out from around from the display case. 

“Hangyul? Oh my word! Look at you!”

Seungwoo watched as Hangyul pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her up off her feet. She laughed warmly and slapped him on the arm as he gently placed her back down.

“You’ll give an old lady like me a heart attack!”

“Old? You?” he asked incredulously. “You look exactly the same as you used to when you’d chase me out of here when I was a kid!”

“And I’d always let you steal three cookies before I did. Don’t you forget it.” She waggled a wrinkled finger in his face before turning her attention to Seungwoo, who had been watching the exchange with amusement. It was clear the two had a long and affectionate history.

“Now come on. Tell me who this handsome man is.”

Seungwoo’s face instantly reddened from the compliment and he bowed deeply, embarrassed for having not spoke up and introduced himself sooner.

“Seungwoo, Mrs. Park. Mrs. Park, Seungwoo.” Hangyul gestured between them as Seungwoo straightened and held out his hand. Unexpectedly, she ignored his offering and instead rushed in to embrace him in the same warm, familiar way she’d done Hangyul. He found himself automatically stiffening, but he returned the hug.

“He’s a tall one isn’t he!” she remarked. 

Hangyul rolled his eyes and whispered something rude under his breath that was immediately met with a swift whack across the back of the head. Seungwoo couldn’t help the snicker of laughter that escaped from his lips and she winked at him playfully.

“Santa’s still watching, you know.”

“Maybe I  _ want  _ to join you on the naughty list so you aren’t lonely!”

She tsked and shook her head, then headed back over to the pastry counter, waving for them to follow.

“Got your usual order right here,” she said, pulling a large red box out from the case. It was tied closed neatly with a shiny gold ribbon; a sprig of pine tucked into the knot. She then reached in a second time and retrieved a much smaller silver box, this one covered in blue snowflake decals, and then handed them both to Hangyul. “The other one is from me to you. Something in there for your mom too.”

Hangyul took them with a sigh and shook his head. His lips were pressed tightly together in a sheepish grin. Seungwoo recognized that he’d probably learned long ago not to bother arguing and was touched by the gift. It was the expression Hangyul wore whenever anyone extended even the smallest gesture of kindness.

As Hangyul paid for his order, Seungwoo browsed the cases of pastries, looking for one to purchase to bring to Christmas Eve dinner along with his gift of wine. They were all beautiful and delicate and decadent. There were tiny christmas tree cakes adorned with ornaments made from sugar glass and red bean cream puffs the size of his fist. He wished he could buy one of everything.

“White chocolate!” Hangyul called out from over by the cash register. “My mom loves white chocolate.”

With Hangyul’s direction, Seungwoo pointed out a white chocolate and berry tart. The strawberries and blueberries on top had been dipped in a thin coating of melted sugar that made them look as though they were encased in ice.

“They’re all beautiful.” Seungwoo gestured at the case as he paid for his selection. “Do you make them all yourself?”

Mrs. Park blushed slightly as she handed him the boxed up tart and nodded.

“My husband and I, yes.”

Seungwoo smiled and bowed slightly, thanking her and saying goodbye. He realized he was glad to hear there was a Mr. Park. He’d only been in the bakery for a whole five minutes, but he already found his heart affected by the spunky, kind woman.

“I’ll stop in on our way back up to University for some treats for the road,” Hangyul promised as they headed for the door.

“You do that,” she said with a warm smile and a wink. “And bring Seungwoo in with you.”

Hangyul shook his head and feigned a wounded expression.

Once again, Seungwoo felt his face flush, but he couldn’t help but grin at their continued banter. He was reminded for the umpteenth time why he considered himself lucky to be Hangyul’s best friend. Through and through, he was just a genuine and good man.

Just as they were about to exit, Hangyul paused and turned back, offering a wide, boyish grin.

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Park. I hope you get everything you wished for.”

She simply nodded and waved her hand out, shooing him away, but Seungwoo could see the glint of emotion in her eyes. He bowed deeply once again and then followed Hangyul back out to the car. 

“One more stop,” Hangyul said as he climbed into the driver’s seat. 

Seungwoo hesitated, not really wanting to get back into a vehicle that had Hangyul behind the wheel. Good guy or not, he was a reckless and aggressive driver and while they’d made it to Incheon in one piece, Seungwoo couldn’t help but wonder if he was pressing his luck. But it was cold and he didn’t want to be responsible for making them late and so he gritted his teeth and got in, clutching his pastry box.

Sitting outside the bakery, as they waited for the car to warm up, Hangyul popped open the lid of the small silver box. Seungwoo watched a smile spread across his face as he stared down into it. 

“Three cookies for me and a white chocolate truffle for my mom,” he said softly, tilting the box towards Seungwoo.

It was silent for a moment, but then Hangyul laughed and shook his head, securing the cover back down.

“Let’s go!” he announced, putting the car into drive. 

Seungwoo didn’t miss the way he quickly wiped at his eyes, but he kept the observation to himself.

Hangyul cranked up the radio and they both sang along to Christmas songs as they drove. They were halfway through a ridiculous rendition of Santa Baby when Hangyul pulled the car off the road and down a small side street. As they rolled up to a large brick building, Seungwoo instantly recognized the location. He’d never been here before himself, but Hangyul and talked about it and described it many times. It was the orphanage where he’d spent his early years.

Hangyul parked and slid his chair back. Seungwoo watched as he twisted around and lifted the big red pastry box off the backseat and then fished around on the floor.

“Ah ha!”

He straightened back up holding two pieces of red cloth, one of which he tossed at Seungwoo. Curiously, Seungwoo held it up to inspect it.  _ A santa hat.  _ Hangyul was already pulling his on and glancing at the dashboard clock.

“Let’s make it quick. Mom will kill us if we hold up dinner.”

“Us?” Seungwoo echoed as he donned his own hat. The puff ball swung down, knocking him in the forehead.

Seungwoo followed Hangyul out of the car once again and up to the doors of the building. He glanced over at the empty, quiet playground. The slide and swings were covered in a thin sheen of frost. He couldn’t help the memories of last Christmas Eve from instantly flooding back. It caused a strange tugging sensation in his chest.

Last year, after a quaint dinner at a small, warm cafe, he and his boyfriend had strolled the streets of Busan, hand in hand, eventually happening upon a dark, deserted playground. His boyfriend had insisted they sneak inside, despite the freezing temperature. Seungwoo had pretended to protest against the idea, but it was just for show. He was always powerless when it came to denying Yohan. And so they’d spent an hour on the swings, talking about their hopes for the future and their best memories of the past before the bitter cold had forced them to head back to Yohan’s apartment.

Seungwoo was grateful when the high-pitched sounds of excited, shrieking children suddenly interrupted his thoughts. As they walked through the front doors, they were greeted by laughter. It seemed they all knew Hangyul well from the way they instantly crowded around him, clutching at his legs and trying to talk over each other to win his attention.

Hangyul lifted the box over their heads and passed it to a middle-aged woman who was trying unsuccessfully to quiet them.

“I knew we’d see you today,” she said, taking the box with a grateful head bow. “Jiyoung! We have a visitor! Come see!”

A second woman came out from the doorway to their left and Seungwoo guessed that she was the aforementioned Jiyoung. She immediately clapped her hands together in excitement, making her way through the throng of children to throw her arms around Hangyul in a tight hug.

“I knew it!” she exclaimed. “How’s your mother? Is she well? Please tell her we miss seeing here!”

Seungwoo watched as the first woman carefully slid the delicate ribbon off the box and lifted the lid. He couldn’t help but raise up on his tiptoes to curiously look inside himself. Hangyul hadn’t mentioned what was in the box nor who it was intended for, but from his tall vantage point, Seungwoo could see now that it was filled to the top with a pile of neatly decorated sugar cookies, all in the shapes of stockings and snowflakes and candy canes.

As the ladies fawned over Hangyul, thanking him and remarking on how much of a fine man he was becoming, Seungwoo couldn’t help but look over at his best friend with admiration and love. For all the ways that Hangyul could be a pain, he was really something special. Seungwoo was extremely thankful to have his presence in his life.


	2. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungwoo accompanies Hangyul home for the holidays and shares a table with an unexpected dinner guest.

  
They pulled up the the Lee household with barely a minute to spare. Quickly, they collected their luggage from the trunk. Seungwoo slung his bag over his shoulder, carefully clutching the pastry box containing his tart and the bottle of wine as they made their way across the street. He wasn’t surprised to see a plethora of cars filling the driveway and parked next to the curb in front of the Lee residence. This wasn’t the first time he’d accompanied Hangyul home and every time he did there was always a number of other guests. The Lee’s were staunch supporters of ‘the more the merrier’ and so there was rarely a time that the house was empty.

“Mom!? We’re here!” Hangyul called as they entered the house, stepping out of their shoes and into the pairs of spare slippers lined up near the door.

Seungwoo could hear the sounds of conversation and laughter as soon as they passed through the threshold. The house felt warm and cozy and delicious smells wafted through the air.

Mrs. Lee appeared in the hallway donning a dark green apron and a beaming smile.

“Welcome home,” she said, pulling each of them into a tight hug. “Merry Christmas, boys. I hope you’re hungry!”

“Thank you for having me.” Seungwoo bowed deeply and lifted the wine and pastry box out towards her. “Merry Christmas, Mrs. Lee.”

“Nonsense. Thank you for coming. We love to have you. I can’t believe Hangyul told me you were actually considering spending the holidays alone?! And so thoughtful, too. My Hangyul is lucky to have such a kind friend.” 

Seungwoo blushed at the compliment and offered a sheepish smile. The wine and dessert were really the least he could do to show his appreciation. Now that he was here, the idea of spending Christmas alone did seem quite pitiful.

“Now come in, come in! Go wash up before dinner. You have 10 minutes!”

Mrs. Lee turned back down the hallway and motioned for them to follow in after her. Obidently, they hoisted their bags up on their shoulders and made their way deeper into the house. As they passed the opening into the living room, out of the corner of his eye, Seungwoo could see a few people milling about. They were likely various members of Hangyul’s family and family friends, but he knew there was undoubtedly one or two strays like him that Mrs. Lee had invited.

But it was what he heard rather than saw that made him freeze in place a few steps behind Hangyul.

A laugh.

A very familiar laugh.

His ears strained to listen. Perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him. It was a laugh that had taken him months to get out of his head so it wouldn’t be completely unreasonable that he’d misheard. He paused, waiting, but all he heard was the random din of conversation and the clinking of glass as Mrs. Lee set the table. With a heavy sigh, he shook his head and followed Hangyul the rest of the way to his old bedroom to drop off their things and wash up. The familiar sound of the laughter echoed in his ears, causing him to feel slightly dizzy. His heart ached. Surely, he’d been wrong. He’d imagined it. As he changed out of his comfortable travel clothes and into something nicer for dinner, he rubbed at his chest, trying to clear the cold, heavy feeling.

“You okay? You look… pale,” Hangyul remarked as he pulled off his own hoodie and replaced it with a festive red sweater. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just hungry.”

Hangyul eyed him suspiciously, but he let it slide and for that Seungwoo was thankful.

He was doing a pretty good job of convincing himself that he’d been totally mistaken as they exited Hangyul’s room and made their way to the dining room. Some of the other guests were already starting to take their place around the long table while others were helping Mr. and Mrs. Lee bring out the various dishes of food.

“Ma, do you need help?” Hangyul called out.

“No! Almost set! You boys find a seat!”

Hangyul pulled Seungwoo over to an empty section and they took their place at the table. Immediately, Hangyul began making introductions and Seungwoo found himself scrambling to learn everyone’s name and commit them to memory. His mind was buzzing, trying to keep up and politely exchange pleasantries, but then suddenly shorted out. All of his thoughts went dark. His eyes focused and unfocused. All the air in the room seemed to suddenly be sucked out and he found himself unable to breathe.

Mrs. Lee walked out from the kitchen holding a platter of grilled meat. A few steps behind her, carrying a large bowl, was Yohan.

Seungwoo immediately shoved his shaking hands into his lap as their eyes met. Beside him, Hangyul inhaled sharply, causing him to sputter and cough and he reached awkwardly for his water glass.But Seungwoo was frozen. He couldn’t move.

There was a moment where Yohan’s face went slack in surprise, but he seemed to instantly shake it off, tearing his gaze away and following Mrs. Lee the rest of the way to the table. The pink flush to his cheeks, however, was unmistakable. Seungwoo knew it all too well. It made his head spin.

Idly, he reached out and patted a choking Hangyul on the back, desperate to have something to do with his trembling hands. Hangyul’s eyes were wide as he peered at Seungwoo over the rim of his glass and it was clear that he was just as surprised to see the unexpected familiar face in his home.

The beautiful spread that Mrs. Lee had prepared should have been extremely appetizing, but Seungwoo’s stomach was so knotted up that he could barely even look at it. Luckily, Yohan had taken a spot at the other end of the table, on the same side, so he was mostly blocked from Seungwoo’s view, but the feeling of anxiety was still sitting heavy in his chest. His whole body felt like it was vibrating.

How was he here? Why was he here? Of all the places in South Korea, how had they ended up sharing the same table? What would happen?

Seungwoo and Yohan had broken up seven months ago. It was actually seven months and eleven days, but Seungwoo liked to pretend he wasn’t counting. It had been a mutual decision in theory, after all, so Seungwoo didn’t feel like he had the right to pine over someone he’d helped push away.

It had been a pretty typical argument - Yohan had been acting strange and uncharacteristically standoffish, avoiding all of Seungwoo’s attempts to root out the problem and generally being a moody pain in the ass. Out of frustration, Seungwoo had thrown out a cliche, “maybe we shouldn’t be together if you’re so unhappy,” to which Yohan had surprisingly agreed. And that had been that. Despite almost immediately regretting his dramatic declaration, Seungwoo had been too proud and too hurt to try and take it back. Instead, he’d walked out of Yohan’s apartment, slamming the door behind him. A week later, he’d sent Hangyul back over with a box of Yohan’s stuff, in exchange for his own things, and that had been that. Seungwoo had spent many a long night staring down at a dark phone screen wishing for closure. Nothing made sense. They’d been together for a year - a year that had been, hands down, the best of Seungwoo’s life. It had been filled with love and happiness and playfulness. And then it had ended so unceremoniously that it left a massive hole in Seungwoo’s heart - one that persisted and ached still to this day.

Seungwoo did his best to force down small bits of food, silently praying he didn’t come across as rude. He was unfathomably grateful when Hangul stole some pieces off his plate and shoved them into his own mouth, making it look like he’d eaten a lot more than he had. Such was to be expected from someone as perceptive as Hangyul and Seungwoo made a mental note to be more open about how much he appreciated his best friend.

He did his best to participate in the small talk around him and avidly listen to Mrs. Lee’s embarrassing stories about Hangyul as a child, but his brain was buzzing so loudly it was hard to hear anything else over the white noise. It took a concerted effort to nod and laugh in all the appropriate places. The last thing he wanted to do was give the impression that he wasn’t having a good time.

But as much as dinner was agonizing, the idea of it ending and having to get up from the table was absolutely terrifying. What would happen next? Would he be forced to interact with Yohan? As of now, they were safely separated. That thought spurred him to pick up his chopsticks and began piling more food on his half-empty plate. Beside him, Hangyul stared at him with an incredulous expression.

“What are you doing?” he hissed, leaning over surreptitiously to whisper in Seungwoo’s ear.

“Nothing. I’m still hungry,” Seungwoo mumbled back.

Hangyul narrowed his eyes suspiciously and shook his head.

Seungwoo was not still hungry. The rock that had formed in the pit of his stomach was taking up all the spare room. But uncomfortably forcing down food was much less daunting than the idea of leaving the table. Unfortunately, the guests around him had other ideas and they slowly started to rise, stretching out their legs and offering to help with the clean up.

Hangyul eyed Seungwoo with concern, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation himself.

“Come on. Let’s help clean up.”

He grabbed Seungwoo’s full plate and covered it with his own empty one. Seungwoo nodded numbly and then began helping him collect more of the used dishes. If he could escape to the kitchen, maybe he could get a breath. Maybe he could assess the situation and formulate a plan. Or maybe he could just climb out the window and run. He wished the last idea was a joke, but it felt like a very real option to consider.

He pushed himself up from the table, carefully balancing the stack of dirty plates, and followed Hangyul as he headed for the kitchen. He made it a point to stare directly at the back of his friend’s head, unwilling to let his eyes wander and betray him.

“Hey? Seungwoo-...”

The familiar voice was like an icy dagger piercing his chest. For a millisecond, his feet faltered and he paused, but self-preservation reflexively fueled him forward. He didn’t turn. He didn’t acknowledge the call out. He simply continued after Hangyul into the kitchen while his heart lodged itself in his throat.


End file.
